Zen and the Art of Motherhood

DISCLAIMER:  We interrupt this normally light-hearted, satirical blog to talk about something serious.  I have a sneaking suspicion I may ruffle some feathers out there, so I formally apologize in advance. If you're offended, all I have to say is -- the hormones made me do it.

We all know the economy sucks.  There is so much need, so much hurt. With the holidays coming up, many are wondering how they will get through.  The reasons are as numerous as the stories...lost jobs, medical expenses, dwindling (if any) savings accounts.  This is serious stuff folks.

I know.  We've been there.  In our case, some big medical issues reared their ugly heads, putting us into a tailspin trying to figure out how to keep our heads above water.

Now I don't say this for sympathy.  We have been blessed more than I could ever imagine.  God has provided for us and I have faith that however hard, we will make it through.

But because I've had a taste of this, I'm a tad sensitive to things that others seem clueless about.

While I've always been on the cheap thrifty side, I find it funny that being frugal is now in fashion. I see so many otherwise loaded individuals now rambling on about how they need to tighten their belts.  That's OK.  We could never have enough fiscal responsibility. But what really irks me are those, many whom I know are quite comfortable, complaining about how hard they have it.  If they only knew...

Being the old advertising type that I am, I figure this is nothing that a good ole awareness campaign can't cure.  So I've taken it upon myself to educate those of the more fortunate out there.  Its not that I want to make fun of them, I sincerely want to help them stop making total fools out of themselves.

And now for my Jeff Foxworthy impersonation.

NOTE:  The following is based on true events, I couldn't make some of this stuff up.  No worries, all the names have been changed to protect the innocent oblivious. 

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A WHINER WHEN YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT...

...cutting your two week trip to Disney World to a mere seven day jaunt.  As a last resort, you may just go up to the mountains for a ski trip instead. Get over it.  If this is you're biggest problem, you are so not struggling.  If you're able to go on vacation, any vacation, thank your lucky stars. People with REAL problems can't even do that.



...the fact that you can't put enough money in the kids' college funds.  Whoopie.  Be thankful you have a college account or retirement account or savings account for that matter. REAL problems mean your savings consists of a bunch of pennies in the jar in the basement or whatever change you can find under the couch.



...the fact that you have to cut out little Buffy's gymnastics camp because you're just too tapped out with her dance, riding and French lessons.  Hate to break it to you, but  I think she'll live.  REAL problems include not having enough money to pay for your child's school supplies, lunch or field trip fees.



...not being able to get your nails done because you have to cut back.  Hold me back. I really want to hurt you.  If this is your biggest worry, please, please shut up.



...poor people, saying "So many of these people create their own problems. Why should I pay for them?" Do I really need to explain this one?
.

...the fact that you'd like to help out, BUT {insert any of the above here}.  Pleeeeaase.  My only advise is...wake up and look around you.  Then give. Or do.  Whatever you choose, do it like your life depends upon it.  Tides have a way of turning. You never know when it actually will.

The ironic part of this is that the people who need it the most are the ones that rarely complain.  Why is that?  Is it that they have learned to appreciate the smaller things in life? I don't know for sure, but we can all learn a lesson or two from those "less fortunate" then ourselves.