He Sees Dorky People

Posted by ZenMom Sunday, September 19, 2010 Comments

Today the Little Stinker had a friend over to play.  There they were playing with Legos, catching moths and engaging in other boy-like endeavors when the friend made a profound statement.

"Your mom's not cool."

Truer words were never spoken. I passed cool a long time ago on my way to frumpy and fugly.  No big surprise, here.

But what did take me back was the fact that this enlightened phrase came from a four-year-old boy.  My other kids were at least seven or eight before they started noticing mom's fashion sense wasn't exactly trendy.  And they were probably nine or ten when they decided I was an embarrassment of epic proportions.

Kids are certainly growing up faster these days.  But four?  Don't you think that's a bit young?

When I look back, I've never been the popular type.  I was an all-out dork in elementary school, which morphed into a nerdy, smart kid in middle school, to a bit of a misfit in high school.  But my secret was tucked away safely -- along with my old school photos and yearbooks -- until I was exposed by a preschooler with the insight of that kid in Sixth Sense.

The gig is officially up.  I'm doomed to live the rest of my life as pitifully uncool.  Very sad. Very sad.

I think I'll need a trip to the mall to cheer me up.

Touching up my image,

P.S.  Mr. Shyamalan, if you happen to be reading...your career can use a good boost and this kid's got a real gift.  You may want to check him out.

I Drive, Therefore I Am

Posted by ZenMom Tuesday, September 14, 2010 Comments

Colorado is not a small state.  One of those nice, neat rectangular states it travels 387 miles from east to west and a mere 276 miles from the north to the south.  It's terrain is quite varied, with the Great Plains to the east, the Rocky Mountains smack-dab in the middle, and then the more arid and desert-like Western Slope.

Why this little lesson in western U.S. geography?

School is now in full swing for my family.  And while that means that I have between three and five glorious hours to myself each day, mornings and afternoons are anything but peaceful.  I honestly think that while carting my dear children from home to school, school to home and activity after activity, I have now covered the perimeter of Colorado about ten times over. And that's a lot of driving.

As you may know,  I, in all my infinite wisdom, have four children at four different learning establishments.  Yes, its true.  Now, when you stop laughing hysterically, I go on with my tale of woe.

Last year wasn't so bad.  Our oldest took the bus to our neighborhood school, my youngest was in a preschool a few blocks away and the others were placed in their respective carpools.  There were days where driving presented some problems, but all-in-all it was doable.

This year...

No such luck.   My oldest is now in high school.  If that alone isn't scary enough, our cheap fine district doesn't believe in buses.  I'm not sure why, but rumor has it research has shown riding in all those goldenrod vehicles is bad for their self esteem.  Whatever the reason, given the fact that she is seemingly allergic to walking or biking, and she's still too young to drive herself, the task falls on yours truly. It doesn't help that our up-and-coming athlete is doing two sports and a youth group too.

This year also finds my other kids in activities of their own.  Even the four-year-old is playing soccer.  So, the Mom Bus has been put to good use this year.   So much so, I feel like I should start charging a fare for riding.

Hmmm.  That gets me thinking.  Self esteem be damned, maybe I should trade up for one of those beautiful goldenrod vehicles after all. The one pictured above is a real looker, don't you think?  I could put a bed in the back, a small fridge for snacks and maybe a bathroom for those emergency pit stops. 

Am I scaring you?  I'm scaring me too.  I've been driving way too much.

Just Truckin' Along,

Zen and the Art of Motherhood

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