Zen and the Art of Motherhood

Did I mention I have a strict catch and release policy?  I had good reason for it and was standing pretty firm.  Until yesterday.  Unwittingly I gave in.  And today I pay the price.

The afternoon was another crazy one.  I had back-to-back meetings at the house as distractions abounded.  Phones rang, doors knocked and dogs barked.  So my son, being the smart, opportunist type that he is, saw an opening and ran with it.

With everything going on around me, its no wonder my son scurrying up the stairs went unnoticed. So did the hint of green sticking out of his pocket. I have to admit, I didn't even see the aquarium, sand and other accessories go up the stairs.

After the guests were gone, I started putting two and two together (yes, I'll admit I'm a little slow).  When I finally made my way up to his room, what should I see?  The biggest, greenest frog you've ever seen staring up at me from beneath the pond-watered aquarium set-up.

So after some high pitched screams, I did the unthinkable.  I acquiesced.  It WAS dark and obviously too late to return the creature to his natural surroundings. Tired from the day, and in a moment of weakness, I allowed him to stay the night.

This morning, screams were heard yet again.  Seems our amphibian guest decided the accommodations weren't to his liking and flew the coupe -- or hopped it I should say.  So right now we have a renegade frog loose somewhere in the house.  He's probably visiting with the caterpillars that the Little Stinker freed yesterday.  They're yucking it up, having a party at this very moment -- I just know it! 

I just hope his little bash isn't his last.  There are way too many dangers around these parts.  He'd need to make it past the cat (given her aversion to mice that probably wouldn't be too hard). Then the dogs -- the old one's pretty easy, but our young pup, well, he's a different story. And, let's just hope he didn't hop into the guinea pig's vicinity.  That creature has some sharp teeth!  The last immunity challenge would involve our Little Stinker.  Let's just say, he doesn't mean to torture animals.  He just likes to play with them.

Worse yet, I'm really not up to finding a shriveled up pond creature sometime next week.  We already went through that with the tackle box incident, and believe me, it ain't pretty.  So, today I'll spend my time cautiously creeping through the house, not wanting to be surprised by our little friend hopping out from under a bed.  Maybe if I just yell, "Uncle" the little sucker will take pity and this perverse game of hide and seek will end.

You have to be one tough animal to make it in our house. Let's just say, with all the comings and goings, things like food, water and clean living environments tend to get overlooked a smidge. But so far, our passel of pets has turned out to be one hardy bunch.

Most impressive is Tiger the salamander. He's a living experiment on how long a creature of his type can go without the prescribed diet of crickets. I'm afraid to admit, he's even been known to go without water for awhile.

Now before you contact the local authorities, please know we do try our best. And for the most part our pets, especially the dogs and the cat, get fed on a semi-regular basis. We're just not one of those families who dotes on their animals.

In our home you'll see no jewel encrusted collars, designer dog houses or specialized "human" diets. We simply don't have the time for this kind of thing.

You'd think we'd go through pets faster than Kleenex. Nope. These critters seems to possess amazing longevity. Tiger is going on three. We had an aquatic frog -- you know, the kind you get as a tadpole in the mail -- for six whole years! Even our old Lab Beau is over thirteen years old and still ticking. Come to think of it, the only ones to meet untimely end were the hamsters. My poor Soccer Girl went through five in a year -- and we fed them and everything. Go figure.

Our home is home to some amazing research. We have proved once and for all that survival of the fittest is more than just a theory. Long live our amazingly tough pets!