Stop The Violence

Posted by ZenMom Monday, January 18, 2010

At Starbucks.

Bet you didn't know this was a growing epidemic?  Well believe me, it is.

What? Don't you trust me?

Why just today a male walked into our local Starbucks, looked at me and screeched at the top of his lungs.

"BANG.  I'm going to shoot your head off!"

So what if he's only four and happens to be related to me.  Mere details.  It was still traumatizing.  Can you say PTSD?

It all started months ago.  My oldest son is a Transformers Afficionado.  Mind you he's never seen either of the movies, but he can tell you (in great detail), who's who, what they turn into and if they're an Autobot (the good guys) or a Decepticon (bad guys).  Thank you very much YouTube.

It just so happens that Pond Boy is idolized by his little brother.  When he went through his Indiana Jones phase, the Little Stinker could be seen using any belt, hose or yarn as his own "whip."  That was fun.  Especially when he used it on the neighbor kid.  We've been blacklisted from playdates ever since.

As Pond Boy transitioned into Star Wars, his little brother joined in -- the only two year old who could hum the Theme Song unprompted (usually in Church or at a meeting or some other totally inappropriate place.)  He could also wield a light saber with amazing speed.  Once again, social engagements were inexplicably canceled.

The new Transformers stage is no exception to this trend.  My four year old is equally obsessed with all things Megatron, Optimus Prime, BumbleBee and all their friends.  And let me tell you, they have a lot of friends.

So when we had to run some errands today, it seems quite reasonable to bring one of the toys with us.  It would keep him occupied and quiet.

It was a good theory.

All started out fine.  He made it through the grocery store without incident.  Even when we were in Starbucks, he sat quietly, downing his hot cocoa.  But once the treat was gone, all bets were off.

Those creative juices started flowing and soon he was recreating one of his favorite scenes.  Pointing his Transformer at me he said I was a bad guy.

And then it happened.  As all was quiet around us, my little angel stood up on his chair, looked me square in the eyes and told me I was a goner.  He not only said it, he included hand gestures.  Oh yeah, and the loud voice.  The stop-everyone-dead-in-their-tracks kind.

So as all the nice people around us stared in horror, I slowly picked up my little delinquent, smiled and made my way to the door.  Guess we can add yet another place to our list of banned venues.

Eternally Embarassed,

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  1. Anonymous Says:
  2. Too funny. The bright side is that he said it to you and not someone else!

  3. My son is on a roll when it comes to embarrassing me lately, so I feel your pain. It's like DAILY lately.

  4. Theta Mom Says:
  5. That's what our kids are for! lol So glad you're joining us for TIme Out for Theta Mom! Should be FUN!!!

  6. Hilarious! My kids are always good for a good round of parental embarassment and humiliation. Like the time my 18 month old decided to announce in the middle of a holy day celebration that he was "sexy" followed by buttshaking and posing. I was quite sure I was going to be excommunicated for that one.

  7. Oh, I am laughing! What a trip down Memory Lane. My little boy, now 22, was just like that. And me, Miss Non-Violent mom...
    I found myself making the stupidest rules, so others wouldn't be so shocked at his love of all things war-like. My neighbor brought her newborn over and my 3 year old son wanted to keep shooting him (no, he didn't have a toy gun at this point; he was faking it with noise effects). I knew I couldn't stop him from doing this completely, so I came up with only shooting at feet. "Remember, only shoot the baby's feet honey," I'm saying. And my neighbor's looking at me like I'm insane. Of course, a few years later, when her boy grew bigger, she got it completely!
    My grown son still loves all the Transformers and things of that nature, however he now uses a camera to express his appreciation.

  8. My son always pretends to kill me too. Sometimes I wish he would succeed, just so I wouldn't have to listen to him yammer on anymore!!

  9. Luschka Says:
  10. Lol.. oh the parenting stages you make me look forward to!

  11. newmumover40 Says:
  12. Ah, the things I have to look forward to! :)

  13. ck Says:
  14. I'm telling you, it's their hot chocolate. It's possessed. I bet the baristas get a secret pleasure out of watching us struggle with our monster children when all we want to do is to pretend that we're alone.

  15. Tracie Says:
  16. LOL! We have a huge list of places we're banned from, too. All across the US.


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