This has been just a symptom of my entire existence these days. Every day I seem to fall further and further behind. Papers to the ceiling, bills unpaid and dishes piled high and wide. I just can't keep my head above water.
Being the Queen of Disorganization, I'm always looking for ways to mend my evil ways. So my predicament started me thinking. Why am I having so much trouble? What's getting in my way of being efficient?
And this, in turn, set off a whole other chain of events. The result? A slew of rather philosophical inner discussions centering around the meaning of productivity.
What does it mean to be productive, anyway?
From an early age, outward signs of accomplishment are drilled into us. You know you're making progress when you can check stuff off your list or see the fruits of your labor in a nice, clean environment.
Lately, my little guy has been more needy than usual. He follows me around and in a constant, extremely endearing manner, he chants:
"Mommy, will you play with me?"
All too often, my response includes one of the following lines.
"I'm too busy right now. Maybe later."
"I need to clean the dishes."
"We need to go to the store."
And this situation, my friends, let to yet another revelation. It all began when I asked myself a simple question. In 20 years, what will be remembered? Will it be that my sink was always cleaned or that I actually found the time to build a relationship with my kids.
So today, productivity has taken on a whole new meaning.
It involves lounging in my rocking chair. With the Stinker in my lap, we watch Land Before Time for the eleventh time together. Or maybe it is that mid-day trip to the pond to feed the ducks and play make-believe fish.
Now don't get me wrong -- this doesn't come easy. To the contrary. I constantly feel a pull to "get something done" instead of just enjoying the kids (or anything else for that matter).
That's when I force myself to remember how quickly they grow. I know, right now that seems like such a fantasy! But when that day finally does come, I know I'll miss Ducky, Little Foot and all their friends. My kids will be on their own and then I'll have plenty of time to be productive.