Zen and the Art of Motherhood

Our Little Stinker's new favorite show is Bob the Builder. He goes around singing the songs, knows who's who, and can recite the most minute detail of every episode with amazing accuracy.

Although this may border on the obsessive, I'm basically OK with his love of all things home improvement related. What I can't deal with are the questions.

"What does Scoop do?"

"Why does Dizzy spin around?"

"Where does Lofty take all the wood?"

Don't be fooled. These are not the innocent questions of an adorable toddler. They're part of a test -- and woe to the person who answers incorrectly. For any Monty Python fans out there, the moment you are presented with one of his queries you get the eerie feeling you've just been asked what you favorite color might be. Its gotten so bad that I've been known to bolt from the room when the little guy gears up for another round.

"Mommy, who helped Dizzy fix the road"

"Was it Bob?"

"NO Mommy!"

"Lofty?"

"Mooommmmy! WHO HELPED DIZZY FIX THE ROAD?"

Finally, admitting defeat, I whimper, "I don't know bud."

"YES YOU DO. Tell me now!"

Inevitably, I just hang my head, too exhausted to go on. And that's when the Little Stinker swoops in for the kill.

"Mommy, what does Wendy do for Bob?"

Now if you've ever watched Bob and Wendy in action, you might have gotten the feeling that they're more than co-workers, so to speak. I've always thought there's probably a little something something going on behind the scenes. And I have a sneaking suspicion my youngest has figured this out on some level as well.

"Wendy works for Bob, right?"

"No Mommy, what does she do for him?"

"She helps him build things?"

"No Mommy. What does Wendy DO for Bob?"

Now I'm on the edge. I then suffer a momentary lapse of judgement brought on by mounting frustration. And before I can take the words back, I hear myself yell "Listen, kiddo, I'm not sure, but whatever it is, I'm sure she's getting a promotion!"

Welcome to my world of bad parenting moments. I guess its time for me to brush up on my home improvement episodes.